41 Minutes

41 minutes. 

Just 41 minutes. I can do this.

41 minutes til the cast list for Annie Get Your Gun, the latest show I've auditioned for, comes out. Auditions were Friday, & callbacks were yesterday, & I wasn't too nervous or anxious for the cast list. It didn't even really cross my mind this morning at church, or even a couple hours ago. But the last hour before the cast list goes up is the worst. I get nervous for cast lists of shows I didn't even audition for.

I guess that's just how it goes.

So, I suppose it's time for the flood of pictures now. 

 I'm getting so excited for spring, I can't even tell you. Flowers blooming, birds singing, everything turning green. ahhhh.

 One of the added benefits of living on a farm. This is actually one of my neighbors horses. I remember when I was little we would run over to her field & spend all day talking to the horses, feeding them apples from the little apple tree in our field, & sweet green grass. We would name them (usually names involving the color of their fur &/or the markings on them), and always forget what we had named them, then re-name them the next day. I miss those long, lazy summer days. 

 Basically my life for the past week :: WRITING THE LOGNEST PAPER OF MY LIFE. I'm turning in the final draft tomorrow, & I'm so ready to be done with this & get it behind me. 

A delicious dinner date with my mama. I love her so much! She's the best person to talk things through with, & she's so wise. I absolutely adore spending time with her. For spring break, we're going on a little (big) road trip to California // Arizona to look at some colleges, with the added bonus of seeing some family. I don't think we've ever taken a trip together, just the two of us, so I'm super excited about it. It's going to be so rad!

THESE WILL BE ON MY BODY IN LESS THAN A WEEK. aka spring break. So ready to be somewhere warm & sunny & to finally wear tank tops & summer dresses & sandals. It'll be the greatest.

So this whole post is basically me rambling to distract myself from...that one thing. 

& it worked. 

11 minutes.

Musings

It's crazy how much I can see God working in my life right now. I just want to bottle up all these realizations and keep them for a time when I feel discouraged, or like God's not active in my life. I'll uncork the bottle & experience again all the waves of peace that are washing over me. To think of how anxious & down & stressed  out I was at the beginning of the year. Just last weekend I was wondering why my life actually felt like it was making sense. Why I was so happy. Why I was so at peace. The rough draft of the biggest paper of my life thus far was due, I have auditions for a show, and then trying to fit in all my other responsibilities. 

But yet, I wasn't stressed out. 

Then & there I realized just how much God has been soothing my nerves & calming my anxious heart. I hardly ever give Him credit for how He works. I am sure there have been so many times over the last seventeen years [& many more to come] that He was worked something miraculous in my life, & I'm not even aware of it, or I somehow comically believe that it was me who fixed the problem. 

I serve such a glorious, wonderful God, & am so blessed by what He has done in my life. 

"Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken." // Psalm 55:22

the poetry of emily dickinson

Emily Dickinson has such a way with words. I have been hunting in thrift stores for months to find a collection of her poetry & I finally found one! It was a steal too. I almost started jumping up & down in goodwill, I was so ecstatic. I have a feeling that this will be one of those books that I'll read over & over again, keeping it for years even after it has become worn & weathered.

I've spent the last couple days poring over her beautiful poems, underlining & starring & making notes. I love writing all over books I read, because it makes me feel like I'm involved. That I'm invested in the writing, & play a part in it. I feel that it connects me, somehow, to her. Anyways, I wanted to share one of the favorites of hers that I've read so far ::

If I can stop one heart from breaking, 

I shall not live in vain;

If I can ease one life the aching, 

Or cool one pain,

Or help one fainting robin

Unto his nest again,

I shall not live in vain.